Mom forces 18-year-old daughter to shoplift from Target for her, gets angry when she refuses to visit home after she got arrested: 'I almost lost everything because I trusted my mom'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 31, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

She deserves a fresh start away from her crazy parents.

You cannot control your lot in life. You really cannot control who is raising you for the first 18 years of your life, and that can be a real bummer if your parents are not upstanding members of society. It's so difficult to be the good person you want to be when your parents are actively encouraging you to do anything but that. Kind, thoughtful, hard-working children can and often do come from parents who are mean, selfish, and lazy. Children from that background have to work significantly harder to be good people, because they are not rewarded for that behavior the way a child from a more stable family would be. 

Kids don't always have the choice to disobey their parents. If they want them to lie and steal for them, they have the choice between doing just that or suffering their wrath. It's much harder to disobey someone who feeds and clothes you than to disobey someone you're not wholly dependent upon. Not to mention, kids usually don't know a life outside of their family. Many kids in bad situations assume that everyone's family is as dysfunctional as theirs. 

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  • A Target store with cars parked in front of it
    via Shabaz Usmani

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The young woman in this story knows that her family is in trouble, and she's finally escaped the worst of it. Her escape didn't come without a ton of strife and getting in trouble with the law because of her mother's inane demands of her.

  • Am I the bad guy for leaving my siblings behind because of my parents?

    I'm just gonna jump right into it!! So I (18F) am a college freshman living on campus.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • I turned 18 in June. Before that, my relationship with my parents was awful-at least from my point of view.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • There was always yelling and arguing. My mom constantly lied about things I did or said, which got me in trouble, and whenever I tried to defend myself, I'd get yelled at for "snapping" or "having an attitude." My stepdad wasn't any better.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • He'd break things, threaten to break more, and multiple times over the summer and before my high school graduation he'd say, "I can shut this whole shit down," meaning he could stop me from going to college or moving on campus.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Obviously, I didn't want that to happen. I tried to have calm, positive conversations with them, but it never lasted.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • They'd twist my words against me, or things would be okay for a couple of days-usually when my stepdad was high or too tired to argue after work-then suddenly there'd be a huge blow-up and something would get broken.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Anyway, over the summer, my mom developed this obsession with stealing from Target. For context, I only helped because of my younger siblings-we didn't have enough food or baby supplies.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • My stepdad wouldn't let me get a job because he "didn't want me working for the white man," and my mom agreed.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • She also mismanaged food stamps and WIC, so we'd run out of groceries fast. Eventually, we got caught.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • One time, she told me she had paid for everything (everything was bagged already) and told me to just walk out behind her with the cart.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • I did, and that's when I got arrested. While I was being arrested, I said, "My mother made me do it," but didn't go into detail.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Women's hands in handcuffs
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • That ended up mattering later, because it made the police look into her too-and she ended up getting charged as well.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • For a while, my stepdad didn't know what happened. Even after I moved on campus, he didn't know for about a month.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Then my mom randomly told him, and he told half the family-my aunt, uncle, grandma, cousins, everyone (even people my mom hates for no reason).
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • I started talking to them a lot more, and they were actually supportive -something I never got from my parents.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Eventually, I stopped talking to my mom and stepdad altogether. Every time I did, I ended up stressed, anxious, and drained.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • My mom kept blaming me for everything, especially since my statement is what got her charged too.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Once I started rebuilding relationships with my extended family, my parents got even angrier. They thought I should tell them everything I was doing.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • For example: My • uncle opened a teen account for me using my SSN so he could send me money regularly, since my parents refused to help me financially.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • • My uncle bought me new glasses after my stepdad broke my prescription ones because I ate two slices of his birthday cake without permission.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • A slice of cake on a plate with a fork
    via Stephen Mabbs

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • (He told me I "shouldn't be able to see for school.") . • My grandma sent me cereal and noodles from Amazon.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Each time, my parents yelled at me for not "asking permission" or telling them first— like I was still living under their control.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Eventually, my stepdad blew up again. He told me never to come back, that he doesn't want me in his house, that he'd "smack the shit out of me" if I showed up.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Fine by me. Fast forward to our court date-everything went as well as it could. We have to pay restitution, court fees, and be on supervised probation for two years.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • The judge actually reduced the restitution because of me, saying I shouldn't have to pay that much.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • My mom, meanwhile, acted bored and disrespectful in front of the judge, but she got the same sentence since our cases were connected.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • The same day as court, I got my federal refund check. My mom wanted me to give her the entire check, even though I only owed about $700 toward restitution and she never helps me financially or pays for anything for school.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • When I refused to give her the whole thing, she texted my grandma saying, "She can keep the entire thing, forget it.".
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Keep in mind I was always going to give her the money, I was trying to be the bigger person and I was WILLING to give up my money.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • The next morning, I got a call at 8AM. They called me a b*tvh for ignoring them, asked if I was "back to reality yet," and said I was an asshole for not coming over to see my siblings-even though my stepdad explicitly told me not to come over.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Then they flipped it, saying I'm a bad sister for not visiting. Here's where I'm stuck: Even if they did invite me back, I don't think I'd go.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • It's just too stressful. I've worked too hard to get here, and I almost lost everything because I trusted my mom.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • But I also don't want my siblings to grow up not knowing me. I'm trying to do what's best for myself for once.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • I spent years babysitting, taking care of sick kids, juggling school, and never being allowed to have a job or freedom.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • Now that I finally do, I feel guilty for stepping back-but I also know I can't heal in the same environment that broke me.
    via u/Confident_Week_5096
  • If you have any questions or need me to elaborate on something let me know please I don't think I included everything!
    via u/Confident_Week_5096

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Tags

family drama shoplifting stealing teenagers bad parenting bad parents parenting family Target stepdad daughter mom theft Parenting Fail college Parenting FAILS
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